random thing #1
i recently found myself reading yet another article on rape/prostitution... it started to jog some other thoughts and recollections about other articles i've read or documentaries i've seen in the past... they all focused on some sick sexual activity that shouldn't be happening. i felt sick to my stomach. there are only a few things that make me sick - literally, not figuratively, sick - to my stomach. they are:
- child molestation & rape. especially when it happens by one's own family member.
- animal cruelty. mostly when it's intentional towards the animal and not just neglect... not that neglect is any more excusable. it just doesn't make me, for real, sick to my stomach.
- human trafficking
random thing #2
my dad - he is a good man. but also a troubled man. i recall twice in my life wanting to just let him go. i didn't know how to deal with him or cope with the heartache anymore. i guess i am getting better at it... when i think about it, i could never abandon him or cut him off or let him go. he's my father and i love him. not just because he is my father, and that is what daughters do; love their fathers. i love him because, inside, he is a generous and kind-hearted person who deserves to be loved. at times, it's hard to love him. but i do - always and forever.
recently, while thinking about my father and those times that i wanted to just let go, i realized something; when you love someone, you always try to see the good in them. no matter what (i posted that in my i believe post). and even more recently, i realized something more about those you love. you never abandon them - even when they are at their worst and you feel there is no place for you in their lives. no matter how hard it gets. the fact is, you still love them and therefore should not abandon them. simply step back and remove yourself from the situation - not their lives - and let it run its course. you can still be there for them. even when stepping back. don't worry. if they need you, they will come to you. if that happens, you show them love. but that's the trick - they need to come to you. because if they don't, there truly is nothing you can do. so, just step back and be there, ready to love them if/when they return.
random thing #3
i have baby fever. i'm 30 and recently married. so are many of my friends and peers - 30'ish and married. coincidentally, many of them are also popping out kids, or have been for some years now. it's crazy for me to see that a girl i graduated with already has 2, 3 or even 4 kids with another on the way. i used to swear that i never wanted kids. i guess i've changed my mind, because now i have "baby fever". i can't get enough of hearing about everyone elses baby happenings. i eat it up. who's having what and when and all the in-between stuff. although, there is still one thing that i don't eat up when it comes to all the baby fuss; the dreaded baby shower. they are still lame and boring.
random thing#4
the other day i decided i wanted to start wearing toe rings. it's debatable whether or not i really like toe rings, but they aren't that bad, so i decided to go for it. you see, i have horrible looking toes. they are long and knobby, and just plain beat to hell. the more things i can do to better their appearance, the better. i also have taken a liking to getting an occasional pedicure for the very same reason - to better their appearance. it's all smoke & mirrors, really. they still look horrible when it comes down to it. but maybe - just maybe - people will see the toe ring(s) and fun nail color first and be distracted, thereby not seeing the horror of my actual toes.
.............jfk............
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