Oops

Must have been last year's...

I don't think I completed this list. 

NY Resolution Quickies

Blog more
Eat less
Workout again
Take vacations
Love my enemies
Find more happiness with less material things

a poem

today. april 18th. what a surreal day for us all. in times like this, i express myself through poems. so yeah. this is for you pat. mom. granny. you will be missed.

Lighthouse

By Jessica F. Krumenacker

A light shines on,

For the oceans deep

And in the heart’s

Our sorrows weep

Dark and forever desolate

The water’s mighty swell

Drifting slowly off and away

Sadness we try and quell

In spirit you are bright

Though your being, she is gone

For minds that cannot settle

Please, do shine on

Bring light to the dark

Make shallow what is deep

Light the path we cannot see

For this night we cannot sleep

Be there comfort in the quiet

While tired eyes drift away

Offer up a hopeful promise

That tomorrow brings a new day

Shine on us tonight

Get us through tomorrow

Give ease to the heart

That carries so much sorrow

You will lead us in the dark

Your beams our saving grace

Be the lighthouse needed

Ensure we sail on safe

............copyright JFK............

the norm

this is what the parking lot to my office building looks like on most fridays...

empty.

empty.

   

empty.

breaks my heart that i cannot contribute to it's emptiness.

..........jfk...........

i live in norristown

my friend shana and i saw this on one of our walks through the neighborhood a while back.

 if you are wondering what you are looking for, look through the dead brush in the foreground... can you see it? it is the 50 foot long, ghetto made slide that goes from someone's backyard to their small above ground pool at the bottom of that sweet hill...

can we say, "safe?" no.

.........jfk........

butter cream?

um. yeah. inappropriate butter cream egg alert.





















that is all.

..........jfk...........

there's a first time for everything

a few things i'd like to lead this post with:

• lillian has been a pooping manic all week. lots of poops every day. big messy, smelly poops.
• because of this recent development, she now has a case of diaper rash.

this morning, i decided to let the little lady run around in the buff since a good "airing out" can do wonders for diaper rash. so, i got her out of the crib, gave her a bottle while i disrobed and took off her diaper. after i cleaned up her bottom, i just let her be for a while in her room.

i know this decision is often followed by consequence. if you let the baby run naked, you will be cleaning up a mess at least 5 out of 10 times. no? then its just me i guess... although, now that i think about it, i tend to let her go this way for lengthy amounts of time after a.) baths and b.) bottles. so i guess i see what i am doing wrong.

anyway. moving on.

after a short amount of time, i heard her babbling and playing around in her room, which meant she was done with her bottle. so, i decided to go in and hang out for a bit and get her dressed for the day.

when i walked in she was squatted down playing with a toy between her crib and toy chest... she looked like she was doing some business, if you know what i mean. so i said to her, "you better not be peeing."

welp, she wasn't peeing.

she was pooping.

yup - right there, on the floor.

i guess there's a first time for everything............

the good in this? it was a no mess turd. it picked up easy and her butt barely needed a wiping. i mean. i wiped her and all. but it appeared to be in vein.

warning!

if you don't find poop funny, or if you gag easily at the sight of poop,  stop now!
 
i'm not kidding! go somewhere else on the interwebz...  but if you enjoy poop, then this is for you!

 

that is, indeed, lillian's turd pile

 ........................jfk........................

no wallet. no money. free coffee

yesterday morning i hit up the dunkin donuts drive thru on my way in to work - i wanted coffee. bad. i wanted coffee so bad, i ordered an extra large. normally i just order a medium.

as i pulled up to the window i was reaching in to my purse to get my wallet. except, there was no wallet. i realized this conundrum before i even had to fish around inside my purse. i knew exactly where it was, too...

[ explanation of where my wallet was ] -------------------------------

the night before, i had gone to the gym. instead of lugging around my purse and my gym bag, i decided to just throw my wallet in my gym bag... gotta have my wallet. i can't do anything outside/away from the house without it. i just cant. and the same goes for my keys and my cell phone. 

yup. whenever i leave the house, whether on foot or driving somewhere, i always try to have my keys, wallet and cell phone. 

so i put my wallet in my gym bag and forgot that it was in there basically. and when i left the next morning for work, i left my wallet behind.

[ end explanation ] ------------------------------------------------------ 

when i arrived at the teller's window, i just apologized and said that i didn't have my wallet. i was expecting to just pull away with no coffee. but after i said i didn't have my wallet the teller turned around to his manager, who happened to be standing right there. he was looking for his manager to tell him what to do. 

i found this weird.

i was expecting to just drive away with no coffee and that they would just re-purpose my coffee for another sale - it's not like i had slurped my cooties all over it. perhaps they would just chuck it out and take the loss. whatever they decided to do was their business. i didn't have my wallet.

but the manager surprised me and the teller by saying it was on him. wha? on you? you mean, free? saweet! his only stipulation was that i come back the next day and purchase something. like a coffee - you know - with my own money, out of my wallet that should have been in my purse.

what a nice guy. made me smile for a bit... then i got to work. 

dang.

......................jfk......................

5 years

[barf]

i've been bored for 5 years...

wait. let me clarify what i mean by that. i've been at my current job for 5 years.

great. i mean [barf]

bored once again

i'm back to being wicked bored at work again. it comes and goes like the soothing rhythm of the ocean's waves... well. not really, but i wanted to say something ridiculous. boom!

in my boredom, i briefly wondered if the boss-man would notice me missing if i just sat in the lobby or the ladies' bathroom all day. would he wonder where i was? (hmph)

i could play on my phone to keep me occupied. i mean. i'm on my computer all day trying to keep occupied while i'm at my desk, currently bored. but boss-man is always lurking and pacing and walking by. i would be much more relaxed in the lobby or ladies' room.

just sayin.

................................jfk.............................

giveaway alert

attention blog readers! 

i will be doing a giveaway in the next couple of weeks. it's going to be for really neat scrapbooking software.

how fun is that?! this is something new for me - doing a giveaway. it's giving me and you, as my readers, a great chance to win a neat-o piece of software - for free. no sweat off anyone's back!

stay tuned to my blog and facebook page to see when it starts. sit tight till then and when it starts, be sure to enter it!

..................jfk....................

i'll cut you...

i was paging through a parents magazine and stumbled across an article (below)...



now, i know about the whole happiest baby on the block craze. but to say that colic is a myth is wack!

mike and i found ourselves in a tough spot, three weeks in to our new lives as parents. lillian just screamed and cried for hours, days, weeks. she just cried. i was petrified of the moments she would wake from her sleeps, because i knew it meant she would cry. a lot. mike and i talked to many people, friends and doctors about it. we tried a lot of stuff.

• car rides 
• white noises 
• rocking 
• swinging 
• nursing more 
• gripe water 
• probiotics 

including the whole 5 s's thing from the happiest baby on the block. yeah. we tried that method. desperately, we tried that method. shit didn't work. at least not the way we needed it to. not the way it promised it would/could... hell... nothing worked. we tried everything everyone recommended. you name it and we tried it.

the only thing that came close to soothing our wailing baby was when i held her close and bounced on an exercise ball. god bless that exercise ball! i spent many hours during the day, night and wee early morning on that thing... bouncing up and down, left and right. just bouncing. bouncing. bouncing.

now, i understand that many new parents wrongly say their child has colic when they truly are just a "fussy" baby. it's hard to make the adjustment as a new parent into the world of soothing an upset baby. but, if you tell me colic is a myth and doesn't exist i will cut you! it flipping exists... 

and if you don't think it does then i'll show you the 5 s's...
slice [your tires]
slap [you in the face]
slit [your throat]
shoot [you] and
shove [what's left of you in a dark hole where no one will find your remains]

anywho... as i was working through my pile of magazines that i subscribe to but never get around to reading, i got to the next issue of parents. this is what i read (below) in the section where readers write in about the previous issue's content. apparently i wasn't the only one shaking my head over the mythical colic article. just more proof that colic is real.



conversely, if you keep reading you'll see that the next person that wrote in merely had a "fussy" baby and wanted to send  her thanks for the article... she only had a fussy baby though which makes for a good match for the 5 s's method. good for her.

in summary
i don't know everything but i do know this much, babies shouldn't cry all day for no real reason without being able to be soothed. and not all crying babies are colicky, but to say it doesn't exist is wack!

..........jfk...........

magazine love

i love magazines. i occasionally buy them off the shelf here and there and keep them around the house to flip through. it's nice. when i'm feeling frisky, i might actually subscribe to one. that shiz delivered right to my door. 

problem is, this is what happens... a huge pile of unread magazines, still in the plastic. oops!

 

seems i can't get around to reading them fast enough. or at all. last night i spent some time on the couch quickly paging through this pile. well, not the whole pile. but i got through about half. then i went to my friend's house to drink wine.

............jfk............

i'm smarter than bj's and similac

(picture this)

i'm at bj's in the baby isle because i need formula. i see the similac sensitive that i always buy, but it looks different... they're giving away a free bottle with each container of their formula. that's cool - but i don't need any more bottles cluttering up my cabinets. so i look down the isle a little bit further and see the usual container i always buy, sans bottle.

i figured i would just get that since i don't need the free bottle. but as i am making my way over to get the formula i notice something more - the formula with the free bottle is $30.99. "what's the big deal," you ask? the formula without the bottle is $31.99. it's a dollar more with no bottle.

now that just plain ol' doesn't make sense. but what did make sense was for me to go for the better deal... so i went for the cheaper priced formula with the free bottle that i don't need.

whatever. i win and someone, somewhere loses.

















.............jfk.............

an irrational dislike

that product pictured above has to be one of the single worst product ideas ever, in my opinion. bleh!

i pretty much hate cool whip. and i pretty much hate whipped icings. so basically, when you make one (whipped icing) out of the other (cool whip), you get a lot of hating from me.

this is me radiating my hateful disgust {{{{ >:-| }}}}}

i also loathe mousse of any kind; chocolate, strawberry, mocha chocha whatever you flavor it from (insert vomit sound).

it comes down to the irrational side of me that just doesn't like the whipitty dipitty, ultra smooth, glide-over-your-tongue-into-your-esophagus texture of these things. **side note: for the life of me, i couldn't figure out how to spell esophagus. i had to type some retarded misspelling of it into google so that google could ask me if i meant esophagus** 

though, i like ready whip. a lot actually. but it's a totally different kind of whipped product. it has more air in it. you know? sort of gives it a not-so-smooth whipped-ness that is much more acceptable in my books.

..............jfk...............

convenience at its finest

Blogging from my bed. On my phone.

CONVENIENCE.

I'm excited that blogger.com has an app. Yup.



..............jfk..............

a pet peeve of mine

learn to snip it, cut it, tear it... whatever! just do it, please. i'm tired of seeing this.

this applies to men and women and many different types of jackets/blazers/coats. if you didn't know; now you know.

...................jfk.....................

dirty

real quick...

i didn't wash my hair today. i didn't have time. no time for a shower means no washing the hair. don't worry though. i brushed my teeth and washed my face. it's the least i could do. but between me needing to wake up and get ready (my usual daily routine) and lill waking up at 5:20, wanting to eat, being cranky, wanting to be held, wanting to eat again, wanting to get at the christmas tree and then magically wanting to pass the eff out right before we had to leave for daycare and work... i just didn't have time.

go figure...

then i got to wondering... did i even wash my hair yesterday? i mean; i took a shower and all. but i'm pretty sure i skipped the hair part b/c i was semi-strapped for time, as usual.

oops

...............jfk..............

post-baby brain?

during pregnancy, many women experience what is called baby brain. everything is all screwy up there and basically we begin to forget everything and just cannot function at our normal capacity.

well, now that i am past that stage and have had my sweet precious baby, i believe i am experiencing something new. something i would like to call post-baby brain. completely unrelated to the later, but equally as screwy...

the brain is a tricky thing

..............jfk..............

fingerhut

when my brother and i were kids, each year during the coming month till christmas, we would page through the toy section of the ginormous catalog that was, fingerhut. anyone else do this when they were kids?

that catalog was to us,  like the golden ticket was to charlie. we couldn't wait to get our hands on that catalog and mark off, circle or fold the pages that had what we wanted from santa on them. oh the joys...

it's been a while since i've thought about, paged through or even seen a fingerhut catalog. but then one day here at work; bang! i walked in to our kitchenette and on the table was thing bright orange thing. by golly, it said fingerhut on the front of it. 'no way,' i thought to myself. and though it wasn't nearly as thick and fat as what i last remembered, the big black print that read, fingerhut, was enough to bring back the little kid joy that i used to feel around this time of year back then.

ah, the memories...

..............jfk..............