warm & toasty

by today's post title, you might think that i am warm & toasty, or that the office might actually be warm & toasty as opposed to cold, like it usually is... or any number of things that come to mind when you read "warm & toasty".

i'm laughing to myself because i know what i mean by warm & toasty... i am referring to an object here at work. it is called the warm & toasty. here are some pictures:




this precious item is what we have instead of a traditional microwave - and consequently what we have when a certain someone decided that having a toaster in the office was too much of a hassle and a mess. it looks like a microwave, but it serves a dual purpose! it not only warms food, but it also toasts food... you know... like what a toaster(oven) does. or in this case, not anything like what a toaster(oven) does... the best attribute that this thing has is that it is moderately successful at warming foods. yes, i said moderately. the warm & toasty takes almost twice as long to heat things up as a normal microwave. basically, it is about as weak as my upper body strength. but it is all we have. and it gets the job done. it just takes longer. big deal.

let's talk about the "toasting" feature it apparently offers. back in the day, a girl named erin used to work here. one day she decided to try this "toasting" feature. the result? well, you know when you leave bread out, unwrapped, for a little and it gets stale? that was the result. they should call it a warm & stale. that trial and error session will never be forgotten - we all laughed at what a joke the warm & toasty is.

you would think that, since this thing doesn't work, that certain someone would maybe consider bringing back the toaster. eh - nope. i know this because one day, after walking through the halls of our building and smelling the aromatic scent of something being toasted in another suite, i asked him, "do you think it would be okay if i brought in a toaster? i'd really like to be able to make toast every now and then..." his response, "well. we have that thing in the kitchen... it... you know it's supposed to be a toaster over too. not just a microwave." i explained to him the day erin tested out the "toasting" feature and how it didn't work - at all. and he just sort of got up and walked away with a bewildered look on his face. like it couldn't be possible that the warm & toasty that he bought in some moment of his own grandeur was a piece of junk.

oh well. i will just have to settle for smelling other suite's toasty delights.

.................jfk...................