magazine love

i love magazines. i occasionally buy them off the shelf here and there and keep them around the house to flip through. it's nice. when i'm feeling frisky, i might actually subscribe to one. that shiz delivered right to my door. 

problem is, this is what happens... a huge pile of unread magazines, still in the plastic. oops!

 

seems i can't get around to reading them fast enough. or at all. last night i spent some time on the couch quickly paging through this pile. well, not the whole pile. but i got through about half. then i went to my friend's house to drink wine.

............jfk............

i'm smarter than bj's and similac

(picture this)

i'm at bj's in the baby isle because i need formula. i see the similac sensitive that i always buy, but it looks different... they're giving away a free bottle with each container of their formula. that's cool - but i don't need any more bottles cluttering up my cabinets. so i look down the isle a little bit further and see the usual container i always buy, sans bottle.

i figured i would just get that since i don't need the free bottle. but as i am making my way over to get the formula i notice something more - the formula with the free bottle is $30.99. "what's the big deal," you ask? the formula without the bottle is $31.99. it's a dollar more with no bottle.

now that just plain ol' doesn't make sense. but what did make sense was for me to go for the better deal... so i went for the cheaper priced formula with the free bottle that i don't need.

whatever. i win and someone, somewhere loses.

















.............jfk.............

an irrational dislike

that product pictured above has to be one of the single worst product ideas ever, in my opinion. bleh!

i pretty much hate cool whip. and i pretty much hate whipped icings. so basically, when you make one (whipped icing) out of the other (cool whip), you get a lot of hating from me.

this is me radiating my hateful disgust {{{{ >:-| }}}}}

i also loathe mousse of any kind; chocolate, strawberry, mocha chocha whatever you flavor it from (insert vomit sound).

it comes down to the irrational side of me that just doesn't like the whipitty dipitty, ultra smooth, glide-over-your-tongue-into-your-esophagus texture of these things. **side note: for the life of me, i couldn't figure out how to spell esophagus. i had to type some retarded misspelling of it into google so that google could ask me if i meant esophagus** 

though, i like ready whip. a lot actually. but it's a totally different kind of whipped product. it has more air in it. you know? sort of gives it a not-so-smooth whipped-ness that is much more acceptable in my books.

..............jfk...............

convenience at its finest

Blogging from my bed. On my phone.

CONVENIENCE.

I'm excited that blogger.com has an app. Yup.



..............jfk..............

a pet peeve of mine

learn to snip it, cut it, tear it... whatever! just do it, please. i'm tired of seeing this.

this applies to men and women and many different types of jackets/blazers/coats. if you didn't know; now you know.

...................jfk.....................

dirty

real quick...

i didn't wash my hair today. i didn't have time. no time for a shower means no washing the hair. don't worry though. i brushed my teeth and washed my face. it's the least i could do. but between me needing to wake up and get ready (my usual daily routine) and lill waking up at 5:20, wanting to eat, being cranky, wanting to be held, wanting to eat again, wanting to get at the christmas tree and then magically wanting to pass the eff out right before we had to leave for daycare and work... i just didn't have time.

go figure...

then i got to wondering... did i even wash my hair yesterday? i mean; i took a shower and all. but i'm pretty sure i skipped the hair part b/c i was semi-strapped for time, as usual.

oops

...............jfk..............

post-baby brain?

during pregnancy, many women experience what is called baby brain. everything is all screwy up there and basically we begin to forget everything and just cannot function at our normal capacity.

well, now that i am past that stage and have had my sweet precious baby, i believe i am experiencing something new. something i would like to call post-baby brain. completely unrelated to the later, but equally as screwy...

the brain is a tricky thing

..............jfk..............

fingerhut

when my brother and i were kids, each year during the coming month till christmas, we would page through the toy section of the ginormous catalog that was, fingerhut. anyone else do this when they were kids?

that catalog was to us,  like the golden ticket was to charlie. we couldn't wait to get our hands on that catalog and mark off, circle or fold the pages that had what we wanted from santa on them. oh the joys...

it's been a while since i've thought about, paged through or even seen a fingerhut catalog. but then one day here at work; bang! i walked in to our kitchenette and on the table was thing bright orange thing. by golly, it said fingerhut on the front of it. 'no way,' i thought to myself. and though it wasn't nearly as thick and fat as what i last remembered, the big black print that read, fingerhut, was enough to bring back the little kid joy that i used to feel around this time of year back then.

ah, the memories...

..............jfk..............

wtf google+

do i need to upgrade to google+ in order to easily share my blog posts? because i don't want to. i don't want google+. 

i guess i'll just have to copy and paste to facebook now, or click to view my post then share it.

...................................... jfk ......................................

change changes everything

oh how i've missed you blog. i miss the days where i was bored and had random crap to blurb about...

here at work, things have changed. we are now down to 5 designers - we used to have 7. that mean's the workload has changed on any given day. i might be busy. i might not. who knows. but on the days where i am not busy, i just don't know what to blog about. not to mention, boss-man is probably lurking around a corner somewhere... that's a big hindrance on my blog productivity, you know?

but, i'm blogging today baby!

so, let's keep on the topic of change. something else that is changing here at work; boss-man's mind. he just might be losing it. like, for real. no joke. losing his mind. i can't even begin to give examples. there are so many to choose from each day. i will just leave it at this; we all have agreed he is beginning to show signs of dementia.

what changes does our future hold? we will eventually be down to only 4 designers. yep. from 5 to 4. one of our greatest assets is going to have a baby in april. as any fortunate mother to be, she will be taking her maternity leave (3 months time), but after that, who knows if she will return... yikes! and if she doesn't come back (likely she wont - that's my best educated guess) this ship will begin it's decent down. and as scared as i might be to see that happen, i'm sort of excited.

me getting ready 
titanic: kma style







.................jfk...................

another top 10 things...

that blow... my mind!
in no particular order:

1. one day i will be raising a teenager. i just can't picture it at all!
2. it's been 11 years since the 9-11 attacks.
3. outer space, and it's infinite span. well actually, this do-daddy website { http://scaleofuniverse.com/ } sort of encases my blown mind about outer space. really, i should just make #3 about how the existence of anything blows my mind.
   
4. the way some people drive. its baffling.
   
5. our office manager at my job, j.b., definitely blows my mind. from her "my shit don't stink" attitude all the way to her fake sincerity towards others.
6. we haven't been able to prove or disprove whether the loch ness monster, bigfoot or aliens exist or not.
7. how technologically advanced we are/have become since caveman days.
   
8. dinosaurs; how did they come to be and what really happened that ended their days on this planet. that could be us one day.
   
9. how much it really costs to make, produce, or manufacture things versus how much companies actually charge for them.
10. how greedy people can be.

.............jfk...............

bottom 10?

sure. why not? let me throw out my bottom 10 things on my mind even though they maybe should be higher in priority than some of my top 10 (don't judge me for some of the things i'm about to put on this list):

1. the upcoming election (i know who i'm voting for - that is why i'm not thinking about this one much)
2. freelance work that's been partially paid out that i have not started
3. actually looking for a new job
4. how my dad is doing
5. praying more
6. getting somethings looked at with my vw
7. re-doing my portfolio site
8. getting an account together for lill's future
9. how we are actually going to financially sustain a family with more than one kid
10. actually saving money - for real

----------------------------------------------

and now, for something kind of funny.

.........jfk...........

today's top 10

top 10 things on my mind right now:

1. how insanely bored i am at the moment
2. new job - where to start? do i even want to be doing this anymore?
   
3. the assembly of tomorrow's veggie lasagne
4. talking to boss-man about my florida trip
5. why j.b. is looking at our employee log-in book
6. what is going on for lunch
7. how i feel sort of nauseous
   
8. my baby's pooping habits
9. bills to be paid and when
10. losing weight, asap

---------------------------------------------------------------

i don't know if my office is under water, but it sure feels like its a sinking ship. and with that, i leave you with this. it made me giggle:





.............jfk..............

sure, i have plenty of time...

i think somewhere, one day long ago, i heard something about how new mothers blame their lack of weight loss/losing pregnancy weight after having their baby on just not having the time to exercise in the day. i also heard that there were people flaming those same new mothers for their reasoning behind their lack of weight loss. saying that, 'yes, you do have time to exercise. you're just too lazy to do it and are using your baby as an excuse.' well, holy shit! you don't say?!

pshaw. whatever.

back then i didn't think too hard about all that hoopla. i figured i'd have to work pretty hard at trying not to become a balloon, first. losing whatever weight i gained was going to be secondary, as far as i was concerned. good luck to us all. fight for yourselves. also too, working out was just not part of my daily life.

fast forward quite a few years; i am now living the reality of having to lose the weight i gained during pregnancy. fun! and you know what... it's true. we(i) do blame the lack of weight loss on not having time. but you know what else? some of us, if not most of us, really don't have the damn time! you know why? because we just had a f*cking baby and are more than likely learning to adjust to an entirely different lifestyle than we were living prior to our cute little bundles of joy. for crying out loud!

if i added up all my idle/spare time in a day, i'm sure it would amount to enough time to get in a decent work out. so if you look at it that way, then sure, i have the time. so, i guess i can sign my already jam-packed, new baby-having, full-time working day up for some ab and butt clenches, arm and side stretches, quick squats and lunges, kegels while sitting at red lights and a few mini walks around the office building when i can.

get it in when you can - go. go. go?

no. no. no! seriously?! i'll smack a bitch.

honestly, i really would rather get in my work outs as a solid 30-60 minutes. working out is not a 5 minutes here, 10 minutes there, all day long kind of activity. that leaves no room for physical or mental rest. people - we need rest! otherwise our flames are going to flicker the f*ck out.

but i guess, sure, i have plenty of time in the day to work out if i:

• ignore daily chores**
  washing myself
  washing dishes that do not fit in the dish washer
  loading and unloading the dishwasher
  cooking dinner
  cleaning up after dinner
  sweeping the kitchen floor
  picking up after the dogs {this really is a legit chore at my house}
  picking up after the baby {i know she is not old enough to make her own mess. but there is quite a bit of clutter from endlessly trying to entertain her, feed her, clothe her and diaper her, you know?}
  boiling water for bottles and then making bottles
  bathing and feeding the baby
  doing laundry
  vacuuming
  packing the diaper bag for daycare
  packing my bag(s) for work
  etc.
  
• choose not to get adequate sleep
  
• decide not to work a full-time job
  
• do more butt and ab clenches, squats and lunges, arm and side stretches, kegels at red lights and mini walks around my office building when i have a few minutes to spare
  
• exercise with baby {i already do this. and it still requires that you find the time which is the problem in the first place - duh!}
  

** mike (my husband) shares these chores with me. i certainly do not do all this by myself on the daily. the man deserves props for all that he does - for realz.

-----------------------------------------------------------

now, all bitching aside. i am managing to find time. it takes some coordinating with the hubby and friends. but after work some days, i manage to go for a nice long walk around the neighborhood with my friend(s) and our babes. or some nights i might go for a run after dinner, and after the bean bathed and fed, while mike holds down the fort. and at least once a weekend i run with my pal liz - with or without the babes and our strollers.

but its hard. and after 6 months postpartum, i am just starting to figure out how i can manage the task of exercising after having a baby.

and now i will leave you with a peaceful image of what we all want to be; perfect.

jfk......................................

diarrhea of the mouth

i am so very tired of all the republicans making
ridiculous statements about rape and abortion.

they really should think before they speak - longer and harder - about the crap messages they are throwing out there.

that is all for this post


.........jfk........

neat photoshop filter

because its friday, and i've mentally checked out of the work day already, i decided to google the interwebs for fun photoshop stuff... i found a really fun and neat-o filter. all you need is a photo of yourself and you simply make one click.

just look at what it did to the photo i took of myself here at work - click the photo to see!

..............jfk..............

the bathroom stall creeper

i wanted to write a post today about something that annoys me. so, before i started to write my post i decided to set out to find an image that illustrates my annoyance. much to my surprise, i found someone else' blog post about the very thing that i was about to blog about.

if you want, you can just read the first few paragraphs of this person's entry:
http://www.aginggal.com/pet-peeves/

if you don't want to read their post, for whatever reason, don't worry. i still intend on making a quick post about what i wanted to blog about. here goes:

it bothers me when i walk in to a public restroom where there are about, oh, a thousand empty stalls of which i will likely choose one on the end, and then someone else walks in and somehow decides to choose the stall directly next to the one i am in.

i yanked the image above from this site: nothingihatemore.com

"seriously?! out of all the empty stalls around me you chose that one? fuck off! at least go one more over. what? do you want to smell my bits and pieces? should i let you sit on my lap??"

.............jfk..............

scutigera coleoptrata, anybody?

did you just pee your pants a little? i did, when i looked at that picture.... in fact, my skin started to crawl, too. then i felt nauseous... yikes!

the common house centipede
that's what you are looking at. and if you want, you can read about these creepy little buggers here, on wikipedia. we've all seen one of these guys. most likely scurrying along the floors of our own home at one time or another. they freak me out more than spiders do. ugh...

so, do you want to hear a story about one of my many encounters with your average house centipede? yeah ya do! here goes...

a long long time ago - about 5 o'clock in the morning this morning - i woke up to a tickle on my chest. i sort of shrugged in off, until that tickle moved its way across my collar bone. mortified; i froze.

"holy crap! what. is. that?!"

i had no clue what is was. all i knew is that it was alive and on me. my best guess could only be that it was a spider. eek!! i didn't want to freak out. because if i did that, then whatever it was would more than likely a.) bite me and/or b.) end up in my bed/sheets and still end up biting me. so i just laid still... and while my heart was pounding and sweat was beading on my brow, i laid there trying to think of the best way to get this thing off of me... you know... without freaking out...

tickle tickle tickle. it moved its way to where the neck of my shirt was. it seemed as though it was stuck there. maybe trying to get under my shirt. i don't know. but i could still feel it tickling me. just not really going anywhere at this point. i decided to make my move. slowly, i peeled off my blankets and decided that, as i jump out of bed i would simultaneously strip off my clothes and shake the ever-living-daylights out of myself and hair. and i did just that. boy, would that have been a sight to see.

i flipped on the lights and saw what you all saw when you clicked to read this post... a common house centipede!

mother f'er - crawling on me while i sleep!!!!!!! gah!!!!!!!!!!!!

you better believe i squashed that bastard with something i had nearby. how dare he crawl on me while i sleep. i was so totally creeped out that i could barely fall back to sleep. i mean... i did eventually get back to sleep. but it took a little while... and i know i'm going to have trouble tonight when i lay down in bed for the night. my skin is crawling just thinking about it.



......jfk.....

shaving it all

if i start to get bald spots from losing all this hair, im shaving it off!


or going for something like this - what do you think?




.............jfk.............

chewbacca: part duex

so. here i am again posting about my dear friend chewey. i didn't think i needed to post again about this, but this morning was exceptional - i thought. chewey was out. of. control.

first of all, yesterday i wore my hair in a french braid all day. that means that all day i didn't shed anything, because all my hair was held in it's place by the braid. it was glorious not to feel the tickle of falling hair. but this morning! lordy lordy... when i took the braid out, and did my usual finger comb through, it was nuts-o. i couldn't believe it! i'll give you the picture show...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

last time's pre-shower finger comb through hair collection


today's pre-shower finger comb through hair collection





last time's shower drain collection


today's shower drain collection





by the way - this is what it looks like when i scoop it up and sling it on the shower wall. i do this midway through my shower. that way the tub can continue to drain while i finish up my shower





last time's post-shower finger comb through hair collection


today's post-shower finger comb through hair collection





last time's full chewbacca

today's chewey

"bad chewey - go away."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



...........jfk...........

i'm a mom?

it's not like i don't know that i have a baby, or that i forget that lill really does exist... but sometimes, in the quietest moments of the day, i really tune in to the fact that i. am. a. mom. whoa! when did that happen?! february 19th at 11:10p.m., duh! but seriously. i'm a parent.

i remember the first days in the hospital, holding our little bean, and the first weeks home with her. my world was flipped upside down and shaken for it's lunch money. i was petrified with all that i had to learn about taking care of a newborn and how life was about to change...life would never be the same. but as the weeks went on, i started to get used to things - sort of - and i could feel a little relief fall over me. it was nice, but short lived, as a new worry was creeping up on me. one day i was going to have to go back to work. how in the world is that supposed to happen. how am i supposed to take care of myself and a baby and go to work on top of all the other daily/weekly/monthly happenings?

**side note** i know it seems that i am leaving mike out of this whole equation. like i did it all by myself. but i'm not. he was there and going through all of this too. and helping me out greatly with everything. i'm simply speaking on my personal feelings, my own struggles and realizations that came from within me. i love my husband and all that he does for us as a family. he's a hard working and caring man and i am eternally grateful that i married him.

fast forward to today, and all is fine. i didn't even notice that things were just moving along as they would. i mean; there have been some adjustments with schedules and timing and whatnot, but overall, things just kept going... seriously. one morning i woke up, stretched out my arms and breathed in real deep and was about to start my usual day when i realized, "hey. i am a mom! how and when did this happen?"

even though i feel like the same person i've always been, i'm not. i'm a version of my former self. i have a new type of life and a new schedule. i have a baby and yet things felt like they almost never changed. weird, because i sort of, kind of, didn't realize it till that moment while drawing in one super, deep and wakeful breath. things just felt normal up until that moment. normal; meaning that things were just the way they always were. but now i'm a mom. i have a baby now.

i went to sleep the night before as usual, and woke up the next day a mom.

maternity leave + outlet shopping

maternity leave + outlet shopping with my bff = the best, worst decision ever.

not too long ago, i decided to go shopping with my bff, beth. we wanted to hang out, shop and enjoy some quality time together as best friends often do. it was a nice day. we hit the outlets as they opened and walked around and shopped and then concluded the afternoon at the craft ale house, in limerick.

neither one of us is really a big clothing shopper and both of us had agreed we were each in serious need of some new clothes. i was winding down the home stretch of my maternity leave and it had been at least 10 months since i had really bought new clothes for my non-pregnant self and beth was trying to outfit her wardrobe to fit her new svelte body.


this is my depiction of beth and i that day at the outlets

we had a gay ol' time - bought clothes at the loft, gap, columbia, banana republic - even made a stop at starbucks for some iced deliciousness... by the end of our shopping, i new i was dangerously close to over-drafting my bank account, if not having done so already. but we weren't quite done with our time together - there was one more stop, and that was lunch/good beer at the craft ale house.

good times.

now, obviously i should have known better than to go on a shopping spree while i was still on my unpaid maternity leave. what was i thinking?! not much i guess. i just wanted to enjoy my time with beth. and that i did. though i guess if i made one smart move that day, it had to be that i put lunch on my credit card and not my debit card. by that point i had already over-drafted my bank account, even though i didn't really know it yet. i didn't find that out till later, when i got home and checked on the situation.

oops.

but there are four good things to this whole experience/situation 1.) i had a really fun time with my bff. 2.) my checking account is hooked up with my savings account. so if i do happen to do what i did that day, the overage comes from my savings and i don't have to stand there looking embarrassed and rejected by the person trying to charge my debit card. 3.) i guess i am allowed one over-draft a year, month or whatever, without incurring the $35 fee. so, all in all, it didn't cost me anything extra to be an irresponsible shopper that day. 4.) i learned a valuable lesson; don't go on a shopping spree with your bff when you are on an unpaid maternity leave.

..............jfk..............

chewbacca lives! in my tub every day

so. i've always lost a lot of hair on a daily basis. i know i'm not alone here. we all lose hair throughout the day. but it seemed that i was losing quite a bit. every day - every shower. i would be scooping out this massive sopping clump of hair from the drain/bottom of the tub. ugh. it was so gross - there was so much hair! so much so, that my husband and i fondly named the clumps of hair, my little chewbaccas. chewey, for short.

every day i'd scoop chewey out of tub.

"oughloughloughloughloughloughloughl"

this is an on going struggle that i still deal with today. but recently i was pregnant for 9 months and one of the only perks that i experienced while housing a fetus, taking a mega vitamin the size of a small bird's egg, drinking huge amounts of water and staving off things like alcohol, deli meats, sushi and fun sports like football, was that my crazy hair loss sort of subsided. chewey was... almost non existent. he wasn't really chewey anymore. it was... great! it seemed that for a while there our tub was draining 5x better than it ever had. it was glorious.

but alas. i knew it wouldn't last. something inside of me said, "you know jessica. when you are not pregnant anymore, it's likely that your cheweys will come back..." i knew that it was true. and guess what. chewey is back. that bastard!

but it's like super chewbacca these days. there is something about this wild roller coaster of post pregnancy hormones, or whatever it is that causes us mothers to lose our hair at a ridiculous rate 3-4 months after giving birth, that is just insane. holy moly. i've never seen chewey like this. when i go to scoop him up there is so much hair! it's so thick, soft and cushiony that i cannot even feel the tub drain. i used to be able to feel the tub drain. yowsers and gross!

i took pictures this morning of chewey because i knew i wanted to blog about him. and i didn't want to blog about him without pictures of my chewey. enjoy!

---------------------------------------------------------------


this is what i remove from my head before i even get in the shower.
i do this by combing my fingers through my hair after i remove
my hair tie.



this is what i pull from the bottom of the tub after
my shower. aka. chewey!



this is what i remove from my head after my shower, when i once
again comb my fingers through my hair.



all my glorious hair clumped together; pre-shower,
shower and post shower.



postpartum chewbacca = chewey on steroids...

---------------------------------------------------------------

and this is just what i get from my head in the morning time. i can't imagine what chewey would look like if i collected all my lost hair throughout the day and balled it up. bleh!





.................jfk.................

this sh*t is bananas

it was about two weeks ago, when i bought a 3lb bunch of bananas at bj's wholesale club. they were the most electric green bananas i had ever purchased! for serious - electric might not even describe the color they were!

now, i have purchased bananas from bj's many times. and something you should be aware of is bj's bananas seem to have a much shorter shelf life than most bananas found anywhere else. i don't know what it is... they maybe last half as long as your typical grocery store banana. here is the way it goes down. you buy bananas at bj's. green, yellow, greenish-yellow, whatever color they are. though they are generally some shade of green. they quickly turn yellow within a day or two. then you have very little time before they turn brown and spotty.

basically, you have to really like bananas - eat them every day kind of like - or have intentions of baking something with them to make it worth buying the 3lb bunch at bj's. otherwise you are just wasting money and bananas.

so, back to the bananas i purchase almost two weeks ago and their super electric green color they radiated... they are still green! two weeks later and they are still green!!!!!!!!!!

--------------------------------------------------------------

look at 'em! and this isn't even the shade they were when i bought them. i'd have to say, the color died down a little over the past two weeks.

now, i thought to myself, "maybe they are just green on the outside, but ripening on the inside..." like, some sort of strange phenomenon. nope - not the case. i know this because i brought one of these green bananas to work the other day and attempted to peel/eat it.

this is what it looked like after my attempt to peel the green banana. wtf! the peel was tough. so tough that it wouldn't peel. flat out wouldn't peel. what was weirder? the inner peel - you know, directly beneath the outer peel - seemed like tree bark. rough and tough tree bark! belongs on a tree, tree bark. look at it. tell me it doesn't look like tree bark!

what i did next was, i used my hands and snapped the banana in half. it snapped cleanly and easily. look at that banana! you try doing that with a yellow banana. no way, jose. then i poked the fruit inside to see just how hard it was. hard as rocks. well. not really rocks. but pretty friggin' hard for a banana that i bought two weeks earlier. it didn't even smell like a banana. it was virtually void of aroma.

--------------------------------------------------------------

the rest of the green bark rock hard bananas are still sitting in my kitchen. i'm not sure what to do with them just yet. i can't bring myself to throw them out. there is something inside of me telling me to keep them for a bit longer - just to see.

maybe they will turn yellow. maybe they will be forever green. maybe one day i will wake up and they will be black. or, maybe one day i will walk in to my kitchen and they will just be petrified in their green state. i don't know. but i want to find out how this one ends.

.........jfk........

big sale

yard sale at kenney marketing just got bigger!

im a professional

i work for an advertising agency - at least that is what boss-man calls this place.

i do ads, packaging, websites (yeah right), web banners, product tours, brochures and bla bla bla. basically anything you want, we would do; including signage.

just look at what i did today!



you see that beautifully designed sign? sure you do - need a closer look?



there she is! i'm a professional. yep.

............jfk............

i went corporate on their butts

reader beware. this is a long post!

i'm going to share a story, or rather an email, with you today here on my blog.

first, here is a little background information that is good to know before you read my story - for the last four months, i've been dealing with various verizon wireless representatives over the phone trying to get a $100 gift card for a phone i traded in as participation in their trade-in program. now, four months is too long - don't you think? especially when it was only supposed to take 3 weeks. so this week i had enough!

i was going corporate!

after a quick search online, where i googled "verizon wireless corporate email", i found a nice list of about 15-20 names to various people in charge of different departments at verizon. score! I chose the ones that sounded most pertinent to my situation... it went out to 6 corporate headies.

the email subject line read "one small crack can take down an entire empire..." a little dramatic, but i was upset and now i was about to get the job done! bitches be crazy!

.............................begin email.............................

Dear Verizon Wireless Corporate Employees,

My name is Jessica Krumenacker. And up until about a few months ago, I loved everything about Verizon Wireless. Let me tell you my story... It's long, but please read this.

A few months ago, more like 4 months ago, I participated in the Trade-In program. I traded in my LG Dare and bought a new iPhone. I received an email on September 16th stating that my phone had appraised for the $100 and that I should receive my gift card in the mail within 3 weeks.

3 weeks passed and I had not received my gift card. Eventually, on October 25th, I called about it. The representative with whom I spoke to had the gift card reissued. Another 3+ weeks goes by and I still had not received anything from Verizon resembling a $100 gift card - Nothing. So, on November 29th, I called again. I was told to wait till the end of the week to see if it would arrive, but it didn't. So, on December 7th, I called again. This time the nice woman on the phone tapped us in to Customer Care. The result of that conversation was that my case would be escalated in request for a credit to my account for the $100. I was told that I would get a text/contact from the authorities that be at Verizon within 24-48 hours on whether or not the credit would be approved. 24-48 hours had passed and I had heard nothing from Verizon, so I called again. I was told that the credit request was denied and that the ONLY THING THEY COULD DO was try to resend the gift card a third (and final) time. I asked what would happen if I still did not receive the card, since this is the FINAL try... The representative said that at that point someone higher up would have to step in and handle it - like - whether or not they would bother sending another one. At this point, I gave them a different address (my work address) to try. Just in the case that something was goofy with my home residence. I sort of felt a bit a faith that this time I would get the card... But no. I still have not received the gift card...

I called last week on January 11th. The person said that my card was sent to the shipping facilities on the December 20th and was shipped from there on January 9th to me and that it should arrive on the 17th. I'm not sure where all of these cards are going, but I certainly have not received it. So of course, I called again yesterday. I wanted to speak to a supervisor. I was told there were none available and that all that could be done was to have my case escalated and that someone would contact me within 24-48 hours. I've been there, done that. No one called me. I called back a little later to see if I could speak to a supervisor. The gentleman on the phone said that he was the highest authority available and that all he could do was escalate my case. No thank you. I asked when a supervisor would be available to talk to. He gave me the run around and eventually told me that they cannot just let everyone and anyone speak to a supervisor when they want. If they did that then it would be overwhelming for the supervisors...

I'm sorry. At this point, I am not just anyone, and I certainly hope that I am not an example of everyone, unless it is common for your customers to be waiting for over 4 months for something that should have arrived in 3 weeks. If I am, that means that there is a serious problem with your Trade-In Program. I did manage to find some posts in the Verizon Community where people are going through the exact situation as me. You can read them yourselves here:

https://community.verizonwireless.com/thread/766487
https://community.verizonwireless.com/thread/751960
https://community.verizonwireless.com/thread/767040

If I would have known there were going to be such issues attaining this gift card, I would have just held on to my old phone to keep as a spare. I am very sorry to have to search out, and use corporate emails of people who are surely busy with other company happenings, but this appears to be an issue and I am not alone. I am one person, of however many more out there, struggling to continue to enjoy being a Verizon Wireless customer. I really just want to be able to speak to someone who can and will help.

JESSICA F. KRUMENACKER
Designer by Day • Artist at Heart

[e] jfkrumenacker@gmail.com
[w] www.jessicakrumenacker.com

.............................end email.............................

i sent this email yesterday. and today, i got a phone call. the guy's name was tad johnson or somthing or other... i can't remember. i know he wasn't one of the headies i emailed. but he was from verizon corporate and he somehow had the privilege of reading my email.

he took care of the problem by crediting my account $100. whoo hoo! mission accomplished! i feel good now! now get this - he then proceeded to tell me that, when the $100 gift card i am waiting for actually does arrive, to go ahead and use it. like - in addition to my fabulously instant credit he just gave me. excuse me for a moment...

hahahahahahhahahahahahahha! i doubt that thing will ever arrive anywhere near my mailbox. wait. let me laugh some more.

hahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

for some reason they all have this illusion over there and that these gift cards i've been calling about are going to actually arrive in my mailbox. it's been 4 months and i have not received any of them! not one. i would have like 3-4 by now if they ever did arrive. silly verizon people. i would put money on it that they never do arrive - ever. but if they do, i now have the go-ahead to use the last one issued. great. thanks. but not going to happen.

.................jfk................

recycle this, troll!

who knows what goes in to a recycling bin. more specifically; the big blue recycling bins? you know, the ones that look sort of like this one...



the one in our office has two holes in the top to throw your plastic, glass or aluminum bottles and cans in. we have a certain someone in our office that consistently throws trash in our recycling bin. it drives me up the wall. she will throw paper towels in there, laminated paper calendars and even plastic grocery bags with her lunch trash in them...

one day, she threw out a plastic food/soup container that was full... it looked like the larger of these ones seen here - but full of food.



i mean - it was full! not partially filled or just simple tainted with food residue because she didn't feel like rinsing it out. it had food in it filled to the top.

you don't put that in the bin, troll!

after i saw her do this, i got up and walked over to the bin and dug out the container right there and then. as i did this, i proceeded to say that the bin was not a trash can, and that the item she just threw in it did not belong. she responded with the fact that it was plastic and could be recycled. although true, it was full of food and didn't belong in the bin at that point. so, i calmly told her that if she wanted to recycle it, she should empty it first, otherwise it is still trash and not recycling. and i threw it out in a regular trashcan.

(sigh) she constantly throws trash and other inappropriate items in our recycling bin no matter what you tell her or how many times you tell her... what is so hard about keeping it to plastic or glass bottles and containers... even aluminum is acceptable in this bin... just not paper towels, laminated paper calendars, plastic grocery bags or containers with food in them (which, by the way, she said that someone at the recycling plant would empty it. what a cunt! way to make his/her job harder you lazy fuck! excuse my profanity - but for real.).

is there a solution to this? i feel like one day i'm going to punch her in her troll face!

..............jfk................